The U.S.S. Quad Damage

I've been doing a lot of walking as of late. Partly so I can continue losing weight, but also to get a better understanding of the condition my knees and ankles are in. Outlook? Not so good. Both of my ankles have been giving me trouble, along with my right knee. Previously, any of these parts would only annoy me at random times, and never all at once. No problem there - my disease means I'm quite used to any random part of my body hurting for no specific reason. Hey, it made life interesting.

These new problems, however, aren't so cool. Over the last few years I've gotten quite good at hiding my limp. It would only occur sparingly, and would pass if I kept off my legs for a while. Today, it only takes a few minutes of walking for one of (if not all) the three areas to start hurting. Having both legs in pain is just awesome - a double limp is a very funny thing to watch. I'm slowly reaching my dream of becoming a pirate captain.

So what am I going to do? Obviously, I'll (eventually) be seeing someone about it. The question is which of the three most likely ways of dealing with it will I take?

Surgery - Oh boy, more cutting me up! As much as I'd rather not go through more of this, I've pretty much resigned to the fact that I'll continue having more surgeries throughout life. It's invasive, there's risk of stuffing something up, there's the many, many weeks of learning to walk again, and there's always the possibility of any tumours that get removed growing back. On the other hand, more cool scars.

Medication - Although I've already decided not to take anything to treat my arthritis (it's dull and continuous - I've gotten used to it), the pain I get from walking is rather sharp and restricts my ability to function properly. However, as you can all figure from my issues with alcohol and food, I'm very paranoid when it comes to putting things into my body. When it comes to medication, I am doubly so. Most, if not all, medications for dealing with pain have a range of both mental and physical side effects. I'd rather be in pain then chemically become a different person. Hell, I can't even bring myself to take a single panadol type thing. This option isn't likely.

Cane - I was going to title this one "Walking Aids", but I figured that my body would have to go totally Bo Zhu before I'd need a walking frame/wheel chair. I'm not that crippled! The big, major, important problem with this option is whether it would "look cool or not?" Just kidding, the real issue is how to steal one from my Grandmother and pass it off as my own.

So, what do you guys think? Comedy replies are not only welcomed, but encouraged.